( well okay. he doesn't really have a good answer for that one. so, he doesn't answer at all. he just stands there, hands in his pockets and eyes on her face. )
You gonna let me in or throw me out?
( so, at least he was giving her a choice. he had a preference, of course, but he wasn't going to force the issue. )
[ She looks at him for another long moment before finally opening the door all the way and stepping aside for him to come in. Karen isn't really sure why she is. She's not really dressed for company but there's a part of her that's truly relieved he's still here. That he came to her. ]
[ She rolls her eyes as she closes the door, locks it back. It's a reflex even when she knows she's safer with Kovacs here with her. Still has her gun in her other hand but she puts the safety back on. ]
Is that what you want to hear?
[ Karen can give back as good as she gets from him. ]
Why's it such a big fucking deal that I decided to leave? What were you expecting, Karen? Permanency? You know I don't do that. You know I've never fucking done that.
( so yes, please miss him because there was no one else left who would. )
[ She sets her gun down on a table near the couch before walking right up to him, it doesn't even matter if she's dressed down to almost nothing. That's not stopping her now. ]
Why is it such a big deal that I care in the first place? What does it matter to you? You keep trying to convince me nothing touches you, nothing matter, but I'm pretty damn sure it's the opposite. 'The asshole doth protest too much' and all that.
[ She stops in front of him, looking up into his face as she presses a finger to his chest. ]
You do realize that no matter how many sleeves you jump into, no matter what you call yourself, you're still human.
( well, points for her boldness, kovacs guesses. he's not exactly expecting it which, he realizes, is pretty fucking dumb because she's been nothing but brave and blunt the entire time he's known her. she pokes his chest and he actually steps back, trying to avoid looking anywhere but at her.
finally, he finds his voice and it's loud and snappy and confused. )
Because you shouldn't. Every single person that has has gotten killed or hurt or maimed or something. So, cut your fucking losses and just let it be, Karen. I shouldn't have come here tonight.
( mistake. he'd let his stupid heart beat a few times and now he was paying the price. )
They stripped all that humanity away from me years ago, Karen. Years ago. Biology might tell you one thing but my fucking head's going to tell you another.
[ She says it like it should be the simplest thing for him to understand. That he should've picked up on that already. Shaking her head, ]
And you give yourself way too much credit; I'm an investigative reporter. I've had a target on my back long before I met you. Have had people try to kill me and hurt me long before you. I don't have that gun here just for show.
[ She crosses her arms in front of her, calling his bluff even when she knew it was a gamble. She doesn't believe he's actually that shallow, no matter how hard he tries to act it now (or before). ]
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You gonna let me in or throw me out?
( so, at least he was giving her a choice. he had a preference, of course, but he wasn't going to force the issue. )
I didn't fucking leave, okay.
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Why not?
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( and that really fucking pissed him off. )
Why, were you gonna miss me?
( that's right, default right back to sarcasm and flippancy when having to deal with feelings. )
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Is that what you want to hear?
[ Karen can give back as good as she gets from him. ]
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Why's it such a big fucking deal that I decided to leave? What were you expecting, Karen? Permanency? You know I don't do that. You know I've never fucking done that.
( so yes, please miss him because there was no one else left who would. )
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Why is it such a big deal that I care in the first place? What does it matter to you? You keep trying to convince me nothing touches you, nothing matter, but I'm pretty damn sure it's the opposite. 'The asshole doth protest too much' and all that.
[ She stops in front of him, looking up into his face as she presses a finger to his chest. ]
You do realize that no matter how many sleeves you jump into, no matter what you call yourself, you're still human.
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finally, he finds his voice and it's loud and snappy and confused. )
Because you shouldn't. Every single person that has has gotten killed or hurt or maimed or something. So, cut your fucking losses and just let it be, Karen. I shouldn't have come here tonight.
( mistake. he'd let his stupid heart beat a few times and now he was paying the price. )
They stripped all that humanity away from me years ago, Karen. Years ago. Biology might tell you one thing but my fucking head's going to tell you another.
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[ She says it like it should be the simplest thing for him to understand. That he should've picked up on that already. Shaking her head, ]
And you give yourself way too much credit; I'm an investigative reporter. I've had a target on my back long before I met you. Have had people try to kill me and hurt me long before you. I don't have that gun here just for show.
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( it's not the last resort he has but it's close. a hail mary to make her hate him. to make her see what he truly is. )
Ever think about that? It's late, you're barely dressed and here I am.
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[ She crosses her arms in front of her, calling his bluff even when she knew it was a gamble. She doesn't believe he's actually that shallow, no matter how hard he tries to act it now (or before). ]
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[ ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
because you're right and he fucking hates that. ]
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[ When she believes in someone, it takes a lot to make her think otherwise. ]
Just because you've convinced yourself of that, that doesn't mean it's the same for me.
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[ uuuuuuuugh. ]
I don't know why the fuck I'm here. I just -- I'm here.