[ She stays like that for a moment before moving her head enough to press her lips softly to his.
He seems determined to stick around. She doesn't have it in her to keep pushing him away -- even if that fear still remains in her heart. She has to try and shove it down now. ]
[A long sigh rolls out from him and ruffles some of her soft hair. It won't all be resolved in a conversation, in a night. Though this can be the start. He pulls back gently.]
Do you...want to go to my place?
[Either way they'll be out of the public eye, private and hopefully comfortable.]
[Her hesitance doesn't surprise him in the slightest. He nods and then takes her hand. They've walked through these streets before. The world feels a little more new. And while their hearts are guarded, at least one solid wall between them has fallen.]
We don't have to do anything when we get there.
[Anything liiiiike what they had done the only night they've shared prior.]
...maybe a pizza though.
[Funny how well her soft, slender fingers thread so well with his thicker ones.]
[ The hesitancy has little to do with him and more to do with herself. Not just the guarding over her heart, the uncertainty of their future, but also the guilt that sinks in as they walk. Softly. ]
...you're a very nice person, Frank.
[ Nicer to her than she thinks she deserves after the way she's treated him. But it's also said as if it's just now sinking in for her. She was too busy telling herself other things last time to notice. Too busy reminding herself how this couldn't go beyond the one date. ]
[Doesn't mean that he's an angel or anything. Making their way now. The night is still on the quiet side. He keeps his fingers clasping her's.]
...I'm sorry if it came out like I was ever trying to tell you your own feelings or anything. That's not what I want and not what you deserve. Just. We can take it day by day.
[He stays near, feet are tempted to keep going but staying in her orbit is what he really wants. Especially after the time spent in silence, just wondering.]
I feel that. You think you know yourself and the world, shit keeps changing.
[ There's a soft 'yeah' in agreeance with his first statement. That's pretty much exactly how it's felt. Her feet feel so heavy right now, it's hard to make them move any faster. ]
There's nothing left for me there. They made sure I knew that...
[ She lets the words sink in before squeezing his hand. Quietly, ]
Thank you.
[ It's only something she's heard from Colleen and Misty so far, not having really told anyone else about it. It was... genuinely comforting to hear it from someone like Frank. Someone that she had written off completely and was so sure he would never understand let alone know about what happened. ]
[Getting out and into the world, going to school and working on making a life for herself. Regardless of where they go from here, what they do, Frank's concern and care for her is real.]
[His head tilts and his brow furrows as they walk straight ahead. The only thing that comes to mind is flat out murder and kidnapping that doesn't deserve forgiveness and mercy. That he'll keep to himself.]
...I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't deserve to suffer.
[ She only gives weak smile at that. It's kind of him, it is. But the truth is: ]
You don't know the whole story.
[ And even more than that, she's not sure she can tell it all. Saying it all out loud has never been easy and there's the irrational fear that if she does, everything will fall apart and she will fall with it. ]
[His place. The apartment complex is not exactly a brownstone. Still well kept. He leads Karen up the steps and punches in the keycode to unlock the door to the small lobby.]
[ She doesn't say anything in response to that, just follows where he leads. She doesn't want him to know, even know. Her shame and fear combining to make her feel he would just pull away if she admitted what happened.
Guilt is so insidious like that. She only marginally realizes how much it has warped her thinking of herself and of how Frank will react to it.
Karen remains silent as they enter the lobby, eyes going from the building to the floor to looking back up again. Different from hers but not in a bad way. ]
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[ As she's sure Frank has been able to tell by now, they were pretty equally matched in the stubbornness department. ]
I still think there are other girls for you out there...
[ But it's a weak protest. Her heart has never been in the idea. ]
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[And he means it. The moment she mentions someone else his head tilts to one side and his eyes squint in the streetlight in disbelief.]
All I'm seeing is you.
[Literally and figuratively.]
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You know what I mean.
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Yeah.
[He cups the back of her head and again holds her in an embrace that says so much in the silence.]
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He seems determined to stick around. She doesn't have it in her to keep pushing him away -- even if that fear still remains in her heart. She has to try and shove it down now. ]
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Do you...want to go to my place?
[Either way they'll be out of the public eye, private and hopefully comfortable.]
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Yeah.
[ She doesn't really care where they go right now. As long as they are together. But privacy would be better overall. ]
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We don't have to do anything when we get there.
[Anything liiiiike what they had done the only night they've shared prior.]
...maybe a pizza though.
[Funny how well her soft, slender fingers thread so well with his thicker ones.]
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...you're a very nice person, Frank.
[ Nicer to her than she thinks she deserves after the way she's treated him. But it's also said as if it's just now sinking in for her. She was too busy telling herself other things last time to notice. Too busy reminding herself how this couldn't go beyond the one date. ]
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[Doesn't mean that he's an angel or anything. Making their way now. The night is still on the quiet side. He keeps his fingers clasping her's.]
...I'm sorry if it came out like I was ever trying to tell you your own feelings or anything. That's not what I want and not what you deserve. Just. We can take it day by day.
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Sometimes it feels easier to just walk away because I get so angry with people. I've probably burnt more bridges than I've built since getting here.
[ Or life in general. ]
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[Her hand is still in his. That is important. They're still walking together.]
That must have been hard.
[Lonely even though he hesitates to put the word in the air again. Those feelings that are painful and isolating, they don't belong near her.]
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In a lot of ways, it was a relief to get here. To leave Vermont behind. I just... I guess I'm not as good with people as I used to be.
[ She had always been opinionated but she also knows she was happier at one point, too. ]
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I feel that. You think you know yourself and the world, shit keeps changing.
[Vermont she says.]
...you talk like you've left for good.
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There's nothing left for me there. They made sure I knew that...
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[Spoken with full admiration.]
Going out and finding your own way.
[They don't have to rush. The pace is steady enough.]
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I don't feel ballsy.
[ Sometimes, when she focuses on it too much or for too long, she wonders if she had been cowardly in leaving. ]
Pretty sure the guy going into the Marines is ballsier out of the two of us.
[ Because she knows she could never do that herself. ]
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[Moving away from all you know flat out with no support or defense. He feels like that would be something he could never do.]
You went and got out for yourself. Not so many people could or would at any age.
[The situation is still unclear and he doesn't wish to tread directly on her heart. Sorta has been enough for this evening.]
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Thank you.
[ It's only something she's heard from Colleen and Misty so far, not having really told anyone else about it. It was... genuinely comforting to hear it from someone like Frank. Someone that she had written off completely and was so sure he would never understand let alone know about what happened. ]
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How come you're so hard on yourself, Karen?
[Getting out and into the world, going to school and working on making a life for herself. Regardless of where they go from here, what they do, Frank's concern and care for her is real.]
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[ She breathed it out with a half laugh, only half joking, and knowing she half believed it. ]
One of those things where... maybe I deserve to have it hard. Which just sounds really pathetic when I say it out loud...
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...I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't deserve to suffer.
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You don't know the whole story.
[ And even more than that, she's not sure she can tell it all. Saying it all out loud has never been easy and there's the irrational fear that if she does, everything will fall apart and she will fall with it. ]
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I'd like to sometime.
[Another squeeze of her hand.]
This is me over here.
[His place. The apartment complex is not exactly a brownstone. Still well kept. He leads Karen up the steps and punches in the keycode to unlock the door to the small lobby.]
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Guilt is so insidious like that. She only marginally realizes how much it has warped her thinking of herself and of how Frank will react to it.
Karen remains silent as they enter the lobby, eyes going from the building to the floor to looking back up again. Different from hers but not in a bad way. ]
Do you have any roommates?
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